


There Is No Ending

by My_Alter_Ego



Category: White Collar (TV 2009)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mother Figures, Mother-Son Relationship, Old Wounds, Unfinished Business
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:41:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29820933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Alter_Ego/pseuds/My_Alter_Ego
Summary: An unexpected crisis turns Neal’s world upside down and makes him remember past issues left unsettled. Peter wants to help, but this is something only Neal can fix.
Relationships: Peter Burke & Neal Caffrey
Comments: 2
Kudos: 48





	There Is No Ending

Peter had gotten the alert from the Marshals fifteen minutes ago telling him Neal was currently out of his radius and he was moving fast, probably in a vehicle. However, a handler was already aware of that fact thanks to a heads-up from someone else. As unbelievable as it seemed, Mozzie had been the herald of that abrupt and troubling news. Peter told the Marshals to stand down, and he quickly drove into Manhattan and eventually nosed his car into a parking garage at the final destination of Neal’s flight through the city. He strode purposely ahead and passed through the doors of Mount Sinai Hospital, then took the elevator to the 6th floor, designated as the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit. He found Neal pacing tensely in the waiting room.

“How is she?” Peter whispered as he pulled Neal over to a chair and then sank down in a seat beside the concerned young man.

“The heart doctors did an emergency cardiac catherization and found two partially occluded arteries. They told me they’re currently placing some stents to open them up,” Neal murmured softly before looking at Peter quizzically. “How’d you know I was here?”

Peter realized his CI was definitely off his game if he was asking a question like that. But Neal seemed to rally before Peter could explain. “Oh, yeah, my anklet,” a distracted worrier said with a resigned tone.

“Actually, it was Mozzie who clued me in,” Peter admitted. “Where is the little guy, by the way?”

Neal shrugged. “He followed the ambulance, but Mozzie hates hospitals and all the germs he visualizes just waiting to pounce on him. My guess, he’s probably hunkered down in the parking lot somewhere in his Yellow Cab with an ‘out of service’ placard stuck on the windshield. He knows I’ll keep him updated on June’s condition.”

“Mrs. Ellington strikes me as a very tough lady, so I’m sure she’ll sail through this with flying colors,” Peter tried to be upbeat and supportive.

“Nobody can really be sure of anything in this world,” Neal shook his head in frustration. “Taking things for granted is just setting yourself up for a fall.”

Neal’s eyes had a faraway look, and Peter began to wonder if this crisis surrounding someone who had taken the place of Neal’s own mother was really about her, or was Neal projecting his feelings onto an absent parent from long ago?

“It’s hard to hear things you don’t want to hear, and even harder when you can’t change the outcome of something,” Peter said sagely.

“I really don’t want to have June disappear from my life,” Neal admitted in a rare bit of candor. “She’s always there for me, genuine and sincere and …” Neal suddenly found himself at a loss for words.

“And everything that your own mother failed to be after your father left the two of you,” Peter supplied.

“I’ve never been a parent,” Neal said softly, “but if I were, I’d never emotionally abandon my child or lie to them.”

“No, I don’t think you would,” Peter agreed. “But maybe your mother was doing what she thought best, under the circumstances. Maybe it was a way of protecting you. You can’t fault the woman for trying, even if it all went to hell when you learned the truth.”

“So, you think I should have stuck around like a good son after being duped my whole life?” Neal said with an attitude.

“I’m not saying anything,” Peter said in his own defense. “The fact is you made a decision, or should I say, you _reacted_ because you were angry and hurt. Your mother was the one controlling the narrative, and you lashed out in your own way to what she told you, which wasn’t pretty or what you wanted to hear. It made your world go pear-shaped and out of control. And I think it’s obvious that you hate to relinquish control, so you were determined to live a life you could manage on your own.”

“It sounds like you’re taking her side!” Neal snapped.

“Neal, I’m not taking sides. At this late date, there are no sides. You’re living your life and she’s living her’s somewhere else. End of story,” Peter said firmly.

But then, during the brief interlude of sullen silence, Peter wondered if it really was the end of the story. Stories need a conclusion, and this one was left unfinished, sort of like the old allegorical fairy tale of ‘ _The Lady and the Tiger.’_ Perhaps this scare with June had opened old wounds and Neal needed to choose a door to find either a lady or a tiger awaiting him. As trite as it sounded, maybe a grown man needed his mother so he could set some things right.

“You know, I could reach out to the Marshals and see if they’d be forthcoming about your mother’s whereabouts. Since it’s a unique situation, they may even be cooperative,” Peter said softly.

“Don’t go to all that trouble,” Neal answered firmly. “If I wanted to find her, I could. Do you really think a short, bald guy, who has ‘hypothetically’ hacked into the Pentagon, would have any trouble sneaking past the Marshals’ firewall? He’d knife right through it like butter.”

“I shudder to contemplate that scenario. It’s sort of like opening Pandora’s box,” Peter said facetiously.

“Well, I have faith in his expertise!” Neal claimed.

“So—what’s the plan? Are you just waiting until your parole is up and you can go where you please without a chaperone breathing down your neck?” Peter asked.

“There is no plan,” Neal said emphatically.

“Oh,” Peter felt stymied.

Then a confused handler had an epiphany of sorts. Maybe he was looking at this from the wrong angle. Perhaps Neal didn’t want to _confront_ his mother about her shortcomings. Maybe he felt reticent to face her once again and admit that he was sorry for abandoning her just like his own father had done. Maybe Neal was living with a sense of guilt rather than anger. Anger tends to diminish over time if the flames aren’t constantly fanned. Guilt, on the other hand, can grow with every passing day that one experiences happiness and wellbeing. Did a remorseful Neal think he lacked the courage to open that door to the past and make amends?

“I’m sure she knows that you love her, and she probably loves you, too,” Peter said tentatively.

“She certainly does!” a deep baritone voice suddenly agreed as a figure in green scrubs strode purposely into the room and zeroed in on Neal. “Mrs. Ellington filled my ear about you and how much she loves her _handsome_ _adopted scamp_ —her words, not mine,” the physician smiled. “Everything went well, and, in a few days, your little mutual admiration society can return to your clubhouse.”

“That’s great news,” Neal gushed as he pumped the physician’s hand and thanked him profusely.

Then a very relieved man turned to Peter with his cellphone in hand. “Gotta go, Buddy, and update Moz and June’s family. We’ll talk later.”

Peter smiled and watched his CI walk off. He knew there would be no later for their discussion, and if that’s the way Neal wanted to leave it, Peter had to respect his wishes. Once upon a time, a needy boy had lost his real mother, and then a floundering young man had lost Ellen, a surrogate. Of course, he’d be terrified of losing June, the only constant he could depend on in his present circumstances. He deserved to be loved and have someone he could love in return. Peter could only hope that maybe someday Neal’s world would right itself and all the pieces would fall into place with a proper ending. A hovering and protective friend also hoped he’d be around to see it.


End file.
